There was a time that I finally came out to myself. What do I mean by that. Well it is possible to deny so deeply, that you do not realize that you are gay. My beliefs were that if I was gay, God would reject me. So is it any wonder, I wold not allow myself to admit it or even entertain it.
I finally got to the point, that I did admit it to myself and resigned from ministry. I came out to people close to me. I thought now God would turn his back on me.
During this very difficult time, there was a few valuable lessons, I did learn.
1.) One is that we are spiritual beings as much as we are sexual and neither aspects of our personhood can be denied.
2.) God is more interested in our honesty and authenticity then our beliefs or blind allegiance to some creed.
3.) God is faithful and will walk you through anything and all things!
Now almost 14 years later, I am picking up the mantle again. I am not sure what shape this work will take, but I am excited. But as I have been working on this and thinking on it lately, it occurred to me:
The very thing that 14 years ago, that I thought disqualified me for ministry, now is the vert thing that qualifies for such a time as this.
Too many have been hurt or being hurt, even by themselves and their faulty beliefs. If I can help one, navigate this time, it is worth it all.
To be continues……….