I remember as a young man, that I heard the promise of evangelists that, “if you gave your life to Jesus, everything will be easy”. Now, its possible, I heard them wrong or that they just plain lied to me to fill the alters, or maybe, they believed there own propaganda, but the truth is the exact opposite.
Life is a journey and its not easy, in fact it can be hard. This young man, that I was, didn’t understand the struggle that my sexuality would bring about. He also didn’t know that he would battle with depression, that would plunge him into dark places. He didn’t understand the difficult times, challenges that would befall him in the days, and years ahead.
This naive young man looked at life with such optimism. But then Life happened. Life brought with it struggles, doubts, surprises and contradictions. The doctrines and beliefs that had once wrapped me up securely, failed me and didn’t hold up to life. Platitudes and formulas, didn’t work. Many of the teachings and religion I had put my faith in was proved to be obsolete or at least it fell short to meet life’s challenges.
But, then there was the shift, the surprise that I did not expect. My religion may have failed me. The God that was fashioned by my beliefs and religion may have been too small for this journey, But God and true faith meet me on this difficult road. In these times of doubt, darkness and defeat, I could not ignore that there was a gentle presence in my life that did not always deliver me out of my troubles or tribulations but who met me there and walked with me out of this wilderness of crisis and chaos.
I will never forget that although many left me, when they learned of me being Gay, God’s presence did not. I was surprised that God not only accepted me, but helped me through one of the most difficult times in my life. God was not surprised by my true identity nor was God disappointed in me, God Loved me and walked with me and supported me, when many would not.
Life can be hard and look impossible. But there is a Love, a presence that will love and walk with you through it all. God doesn’t always deliver us instantly or give us easy solutions, but if we will trust and walk with God, God will walk us through and out. How do I know this, because God has proved it to me time and time again.
Life is a rough road, but you don’t have to go it alone…….