Fears are based on what we believe, facts are simply what they are. We worry, because we have bought into a story or belief about the future. Shame is based on the story that we have bought and believed about the past. We really can’t do much with these stories, other than allow them to cloud our vision and create negative emotions and obscure solutions. However, Facts can be dealt with.
Let me put the into perspective:
A story might be “I am always broke”. The only thing to do with this kind of thinking is to either believe it and allow it to become your narrative or to reject it and break its power over your life. However the fact may be, I only have $5.00 in my bank account or I have a negative $20.00 in my account. You can work with the numbers, but you can see through the story that you have accepted as truth. If you continue to believe “I am broke”, you may never see an opportunity to make the money you need that presents itself, because you are caught up in the emotion and fear of the condition, instead of looking realistically at the facts.
Maybe you find yourself Single. That is a fact. But if you see yourself as always alone and undatable. That is a story or a belief. You will never take steps to change the facts if you accept the story or beliefs as the narrative about your life.
Sometimes stress is cause by being overwhelmed by so many things I will never get done. However the fact may be that I have 150 things on my to do list. Now that is a huge list, and I can certainly see why it may be over whelming, but when I look att he facts, I can them priorities and delicate those 150 items. We can work with facts, however fears, beliefs and stories we accept we work us over.
What is motivating or limiting your life. Facts or fears. There are things in my life I do not like and that I want to change. However, what is the story, I am listing to? What is the negative beliefs and self talk that I allow to overwhelm me? What are the facts.
Sometimes, we expect too much of ourselves and others. I always tells my children, “You can only do your best and then let the chips fall as they will. If someone expects (this someone may even be ourselves) more from us than our best, they are expecting too much and are living with unrealistic expectations. Unload yourself from these expectations, and burdens. Start by sorting them by is this what I have accepted as a belief or circumstance or is this a fact. Facts can be worked on, beliefs can paralyze us and hinder our growth and progress. Once you have determined the facts, then sort them based on your potential. There are three kinds of situations: Those you are in control of, those you can only influence and those you have no control or influence over. The latter should not be the focus of your energy or efforts, because it is a waste of resources.
Don’t take ownership of what is not yours!